Ghosts.

Ghosts. We have them.

In abundance it seems. I am not entirely sure when or how we acquired them. We certainly didn’t have them pre-child but in the three and a half years since having Aifric it would seem that we have now got a number of these spirited pals in our presence.

I can’t see them. Neither can Simon. I am also not sure Aifric can, but she tells us they are there. As a side note I do not think that she sees spirits. I think that perhaps there was a ghost on PAW Patrol – probably something like Pups Save a Ghost – and as a result we now have ghosts. Thanks so much Skye/Marshall/Rubble/Chase/Zuma/Rocky/Everest/Tracker/Ryder (delete as appropriate).

Last Sunday I had to deal with two of them at about 7:15am after a heavy night of boozing (at home, of course). Both had to be dealt with – an early morning spiritual cleanse, if you will. One was recycled and one was put in the bin. A friend asked: how do you know which ones can be recycled and which are for landfill? It’s a good and valid question. I checked with Aifric and she said if they’re out of control they have to go into the bin.

Seems fair. A chance at redemption for those ghosts not quite past the point of no return. The chance to become a better ghost.

Then on Monday there were 10 of them – on Aifric’s back, can you believe it? 10 ghosts?! Are you kidding me? I told Aifric I couldn’t believe. And suddenly, as if by magic (literally) there was one more – 11 ghosts on Aifric’s back! I asked Aifric which bin they had to go in, and then I had to put each one individually into the white bin. Which is the recycling one. Clearly these 11 ghosts weren’t quite as out of control as the one the previous morning. A second chance for them. We had just missed the bin collection though, so turns out these 11 ghosts would be staying with us in the recycling bin for a week. Lordy. If I mysteriously find empty tin cans on the kitchen floor or a used milk carton by the back door I will know exactly who to blame.

Oh, and they’re not just in our house, these ghosts. Sometimes they’re on the street. Sometimes in the playground. If I can’t be bothered to run away or I fancy my chances with said ghost, then I just say ‘go away ghost, you’re not welcome here, come back another day’. Hoping that they won’t come back another day and that that’ll do the trick. But they do come back. In fact, only yesterday Aifric and I were chased around the play park by one. It briefly caught Aifric but I saved her. Natch.

So here we are then, in 2021, in a global pandemic, with a recycling bin full of ghosts. How are you?

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